My baby girl got married in August, she is the last of my children to tie the knot. It was a beautiful event, with the perfect backdrop of the Montana skies. From beginning to end, I have been telling my clients how I wouldn’t have changed a thing. The journey out West was a first for me and it left me smiling ear to ear! Montana’s a beautiful place to visit and like most vacations, the pictures do not do it justice! Never in my wildest dreams would I have envisioned that my daughter would marry a young man from out of state and we’d plan a destination wedding out there, but we did and it was everything she dreamed of! Once we arrived I was determined to make sure (as much as possible) to stay in the “present”. I wanted to feel all of it. Joy mixed with bittersweet. I kept asking myself, “How does it feel”? How does it feel to be done raising her? To be letting go? It catches at your heart a little. This beautiful young woman has been the apple of my eye for 25 years now and I’ve spoken often and to many people about how, in a way, she saved me. She was a little miracle that helped me choose a better path for my life because she was going to need me.
As I think about how it feels to “let go”, actually, I’ve realized that it happens incrementally over time. When she gets on the school bus for the first time, or you drop her off at her first job, as she backs out of your driveway in her first car, when she cries on your shoulder over her first love. Letting go is gradual and thank goodness that’s the way it’s supposed to happen! There’s so many years of hope, work, and late night prayers that go with parenting and look she’s survived! In the end this is what you have always hoped for. She’s wise and kind, funny and learning independence, willing to compromise and not holding on to the important pieces of herself. It’s all good and I can finally exhale. I might be done parenting, but I’ll never be done being a Mom.
We danced all night long and I watched her from afar with wonder and delight. How does it feel? I’m gently satisfied with the woman she’s becoming. There’s an easy feeling about this new love that is taking shape. I’m so happy for her and she knows our love will always remain.
All the blessings in the world to these two.